Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Delay, is becoming the name of the game...

First off, SO sorry for the super long wait in posts!  Needless to say, this time of year is a bit busy for my career and with the holidays approaching!

I went back {to the clinic} on Nov 12th for another uterine lining check and unfortunately, it was just shy of 7mm.  It had grown.. but not quite where they wanted to see it.  I was pretty bummed about it.  I SO wanted it to be all thick and fluffy and ready for the transfer!  But, I knew it was out of my control.  The Dr at the clinic said it was a fine line on whether or not we should continue with the transfer on the 19th or wait until the next cycle.  He said that my lining will still continue to grow in the next week; but as to how much it will grow is unknown.  He mentioned that if my husband and I were an infertile couple, he would tell us to go for it.  He has seen many positive outcomes with a lining just shy of 7mm.  However, we had to think of Frank and his previous outcomes.  He has already had a long journey & so he needs to best possible odds and the risk needs to be 0%.  The doctor said he would leave this up to Frank and what he felt was the right thing to do for himself.  Immediately Frank decided to cancel this cycle and wait.  He only has 4 embryos remaining and plans to 'thaw' them all out for this next cycle.  IF we were to have thawed them and then something didn't look right (in my body) on the day of the transfer, then we would lose those embryos. And that would force Frank to start back at the beginning with the egg donor, etc etc etc.  It is a bridge he (or I) didn't want to have to cross.
So, what does that mean (cancel & wait)??  Well, it means that I stopped my meds & we will start on them again in a few weeks, once my body is ready again.  The difference this time is that I won't use the estrogen patch, since my body didn't absorb it & I will just do the suppositories since my body responded well to those.  This puts the embryo transfer at approximately the middle of January.
I was pretty bummed about it at first.  I couldn't help but feel a little guilty.  I was so excited for Frank and I just wanted the transfer to be perfect!  Then, to have it delayed by two months because of MY body... It bummed me out.  I *know* I have done everything right and I haven't missed a step... so really, it was silly to feel guilty.   However, let's be honest... I am NOT the most patient person you will meet.  I think this is a good life lesson for me... this whole journey that is.  These past 11 months have been such a waiting game & it's teaching me a lot about patience.  I know I know, "patience is a virtue" and I honestly do believe that.  I know that Frank doesn't blame me or feel like its my fault.  He is just the opposite, really.  He is so supportive and never seems to show his frustration or disappointment to me.  I am confident that this next cycle will go smoothly and we will be so thankful that we decided to wait the short 2 months for better odds :)
Also, I DID end up going back to the clinic on the 19th just to check my lining once more to see what it was doing with the new meds.  And, good news!  It was over 7mm!!  Woohoo!  So, we are sitting good for the next cycle.
I am always so thankful for the prayers, support and positive thoughts that I continue to get on this journey.  It means more than I could ever say.

Thanks again
-K

PS- I love reading the comment section on here and I am ALWAYS willing to share more or to answer ANY questions that you have.  Please don't hesitate to comment & I will reply back to you!  :)

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

A small delay...

Hello everyone!

I am a few days late with this update but I wanted to be sure to inform you of a small delay we have with the transfer.
I went to the fertility clinic on Monday for my uterine lining check via ultrasound.  Unfortunately, my lining was only 5.5mm.  At a minimum, they like to see 7mm.
I was pretty disappointed to hear that news but the doctor was very clear in explaining how the next week would go.  Currently, I was using Vivelle estrogen patches & the doctor explained that sometimes the estrogen doesn't absorb into the body like it should.  So, he explained I would start on 8mg of Estrace (as a suppository) immediately.  This will be the quickest way for the estrogen to get directly to my uterus to help the lining grow.  The transfer wouldn't be able to happen with my lining being so thin.
I started on the Estrace right away and I am praying, hoping, and wishing that this will do the trick!  I have another ultrasound at the clinic on Monday and they will recheck my lining.  If it is thicker than 7mm than the transfer will be the following Monday, November 19th!
A lot of my friends, have asked "How is the intended father taking the news of the delay?"  Well, good question.  He is amazing and so understanding.
Immediately after the appointment, I told my husband that I was scared to call Frank to tell him there was a delay with the transfer.  I was nervous he would be disappointed.  He quickly reminded me, "He wants you to be honest with him, you need to let him know right away."  Of course I knew that, but he was right, I needed to tell him.
SO, I sat down and quickly emailed him.  I was so anxious for a reply.  The reply came in and it immediately wiped away ALL my worries and anxiety.  He said he knew that this wasn't my fault and its just a small delay.  He told me he was proud of me and that I shouldn't worry at all.  He ended the email with "I've waited my whole life for this.  I can wait one more week."  :)
Needless to say, the email from him totally made my day and I felt MUCH better.  It reiterated how open and honest this has to be.  It's so important.

I'm feeling good, as far as meds go!  I still don't really see any side effects.  :)  I'm also feeling good emotionally.

Thanks for reading and if you can spare a minute out of your day... PLEASE send us some positive thoughts and prayers!  I don't want this 1 week delay to turn into anything longer than that!  xoxo