Monday, June 4, 2012

Back to the drawing board...

Hello again.
Just wanting to update the blog with some not-so-fantastic-news.  After much consideration, it looked like "S" might not be the perfect match for me, after all.

He found this blog and was very concerned about what could and couldn't be posted on this during my journey.  Honestly, I felt very disappointed.  When I first started this blog, I remember chatting with the gals at the agency and they were 100% all for me blogging my experience.  At one point I remember LeeAnn saying "That will be a great way for your intended parents to feel connected to you and the pregnancy.  What a great idea!"
Well, that isn't how S felt and he felt I possibly crossed some lines in what I had already said in my blog.
When the intended parents that I will carry for read my blog I want them to smile, laugh, and possibly even cry because they feel I am the correct match for them.  I would never want them to feel like I crossed any boundaries.  This is a year out of my life, or possibly more, and I want my family and friends to feel connected to this journey, thus, why I feel the need to blog it.
 I want to inspire others, to journal my thoughts and most importantly, share my experience.  Surrogacy is a very unique thing, these days, and I felt alone when I started this process.  Reading (other surrogate) blogs were a way for me to read about the process & see what to expect in the coming months.
I have already had 5 woman contact me that are inspired to be a surrogate too and have asked how they should get started once they are ready.  THAT is why I write this blog.  I know that without my husbands support and pushing me to move forward, I would have never filled out that first application.  And, sometimes thats all you need to do something 'different'.... just someone telling you it is ok to do something that not EVERYONE wants to do (or could do.)  So, for me, my blog might be a good push for someone else who has considered being a surrogate; or even a loving parent wanting a child and needing a surrogate.

This whole situation has definitely taught me that I want to be who I am throughout this entire process.  Sharing my life with others is how I choose to live my life.  I am an extremely open person & I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I am not going to change that and  I hope to find intended parents that love that about me.  I know there is a perfect match out there for me somewhere... I just hope I don't have to wait too much longer!

Thanks for reading and I will be SURE to update once I have another potential match.  Until then, I wait *patiently*.