To always find the silver lining...

On Thursday of last week I had my 28 week checkup... yay!  At this appointment we discussed the scheduled c-section, talked about the date of delivery, and was able to send a audio clip of sweet Baby Kaufman's perfect heartbeat to Chris and Kellie.  I also had the routine glucose test that morning.  I drank the drink and had my blood drawn and hour later and I was on my way.  They informed me that "no news is good news."  Sweet, I am all for that!
  I met a friend for lunch and was having a wonderful morning celebrating how wonderfully I was feeling and how thankful I was for such a minimal amount of weight gain thus far in my pregnancy.  As my friend and I were leaving the restaurant I happened to glance at my phone and said "Oh no.  I missed a call from my OB office.  I must have failed the test.  They were only calling if it was bad news."
But, I remembered back to my pregnancy with my twins and they had me take the glucose test a few weeks early since with multiples the chances go up of having issues with your blood sugars.  And, I did fail that 1 hour test.  However, I went back for the 3 hour test and I passed it.  So, I thought for sure I must just be someone who can't pass the 1 hour test but the longer one, I am golden. No worries.  I got this.  This pregnancy is 'boring' so its going to stay that way!
I scheduled my followup test to be done on Monday (today).  Here I am below just about to indulge in more orange sugar drink!

I got to the office, got my blood drawn right away so they had my fasting blood sugars documented and then downed my drink in the allotted 5 minutes.  Then, I waited.  1 more hour until the next blood draw.  And then another hour after that.  As the 2nd hour came to a close they called my name into the lab.  I walked in and the nurse handed me this packet of information...

I took one look at it and with teary eyes said... "so, you are confirming it then?  I really have it?"  

And the nurse looked at my paper work and said "Yes, your levels were elevated on both of the first two tests.  You have gestational diabetes.  They will be calling you to schedule two classes to go to at the hospital so you can learn and be educated on how to care for yourself."  

And then... her voice became Charlie Brown's teacher.  It was all muffled and I completely tuned her out.  

Gestational Diabetes.  What?  Gestational Diabetes.  Me?  Why?  Everything has been so smooth.  I've been feeling so good.  My weight gain is essentially nothing.  I rarely have much of an appetite.  I passed this test with my twins.  How will Kellie feel?  Will this let her down?  Am I a failure?  

I was kind of in a state of shock and every time I looked at that booklet, my eyes filled with tears.  It was just something I never even considered.  Something I never planned for.  Something I am sure the Kaufman's never planned for.  And that is what was devastating me the most.  

I got home and cried.  Talked to a few friends and cried some more.  Then, I browsed Facebook.  

And that's when I found the silver lining.  

I posted the photo of me on Facebook before I began my test.  

I captioned it "Round 2 :(. Praying I pass this one.  ‪#‎glucosetest‬ ‪#‎Tminus2hours‬"

I had several comments and many likes on that photo.  So many kind people wishing me well or telling me their experiences.  But ONE comment in particular stood out to me.  

It was a simple comment.  A comment from a friend who said "Praying Girl!!!!"  

It almost took my breath away.  This comment was from my friend who has had extremely difficult pregnancies.  She has 2 kiddos who were born micro preemies and she also has an angel baby in Heaven who didn't survive birth.  All 3 of these babies never even made it to the 3rd trimester.  

And thats when it hit me.  Gestational diabetes is routinely found at 28 weeks gestation.  I am 28 weeks gestation.  Last week I was celebrating this amazing milestone.  Who am I today to be upset at this small bump in the road?  

This mama who commented on my photo would have been thrilled to be diagnosed with gestational diabetes because it meant she made it to 28 weeks.  What a celebration.  In the scheme of a normal pregnancy, sure, it feels devastating.  But, if my twins' birth story taught me anything, its that we are all so blessed and that if we were to all throw our problems in a pile, we almost always would take ours back.  This diagnosis was so small on the spectrum of what could go wrong in a pregnancy.  I am blessed to be 28+ weeks.  I will do everything in my power to take extra good care of this sweet baby I am growing so he comes out perfectly healthy and we will all look back on this day as merely just a life lesson.