A big day before the big day

Good morning everyone!  

Just wanted to do a quick post letting everyone know that today I have my lining check ultrasound.  For my past surrogacy, this was the deciding factor that determined my body wasn't ready for the transfer and it delayed the transfer a week and then the following week was cancelled.  So, it's a big day for us!  The appointment is in a few hours and we can always use some help of our friends to send out some positive vibes for us!  

I know we are all anxious to see how this will go.  For the mock cycle (test round in November) everything looked wonderful so we are praying that everything looks the same for this real cycle & we will be on track for the transfer in 13 days!  

I will post an update early afternoon when I know how everything looks :) 

Thanks for all the positivity you're gonna send our way!  Let's go team fluffy uterus!! 

A Valentine's dream, 3 years in the making

Saturday mornings as I drink my coffee, I often reflect on how the week has gone, what is to come over the next week and how blessed I feel by this life. 
This morning was no different.  After I exchanged Valentine's Day gifts with Steven.  I sat and I watched the kids play in the living room, saw the new puppy sleeping in her bed and notice my husband starting some laundry.  I can't help but feel lucky.  I've worked really hard for all of the things in my life.  And, I have always been a person who knows what she wants and I don't let anything get in my way of that.  I don't see it as a weakness but more of a strength.  My dad explained it perfectly at my wedding, during his speech... he said I am "tenaciously unwilling to yield."  As I remember him saying those words, I laughed.  But, as I've gotten older, I can understand exactly what he meant.  Thinking back to all of the things I've ever desired, I've gotten.  When I was 13, I so badly wanted to be on the Varsity Dance Team, I tried out and I was one of 16 girls who made the squad.  When I was 12, I said I was going to be a photographer and go to school out of state, so I found the perfect school to attend after graduation.  When I was 17, I didn't love high school so I said I would graduate early and work full time until college, so I did.  When I was 18, I said I wouldn't use school loans to pay my way thru school, that instead, I would work to pay rent and expenses, so I did.  When I was 20 and fell in love with Steven, I said I was ready to move back to Iowa and buy our first home, so we did.  When I was 21, I wanted to open a photography studio and begin my career, so I did.  All of these things have something in common... I've worked for each of them.  Not one of those things was handed to me.  I had to put in effort and determination to make each of those things happen as I wanted them to. 
Now, when I was 24, I had a desire to become a gestational surrogate.  I filled out application after application.  I was denied by several agencies because I had my sons preterm & they weren't willing to read further to understand the reasons why.  After months of applications, I was finally accepted into a wonderful agency, The Surrogacy Center in Madison, WI.  I felt like I had finally made it.  My "tenaciously unwilling to yield" spirit, had paid off once again. 
And on February 14, 2012 I wrote a blog post (here)  that said I was about to begin my journey and head to the agency to start the process.  I still remember that day like it was yesterday.  I was SO excited that something I had been dreaming about, was finally becoming a reality.  I had no idea what to expect would happen but I was ready to take it on.  Or... so, I thought.
Almost a year later exactly, the journey collapsed.  I was heartbroken.  This was the first time in my life that my hard work hadn't paid off.  That my determination hadn't brought me success.  It was beyond my control and I was devastated.  So many people wouldn't understand this because it can be hard to relate to.  Being a surrogate has always been in my heart.  Since even before my boys were born it interested me and I had a desire.  I didn't understand it for a long time until my boys were 1 year old and I would sit for hours and watch them play.  My miracle boys.  The boys I was told wouldn't survive birth.  The boys that a doctor looked me and my husband in the face and told me they would have 'problems' if they survived.  That they might not have quality of life.  I remember those moments like they were yesterday and they are nothing anyone can prepare you for.  And, I would imagine that is what it would feel like (or worse) to be told you may never complete your family the way you planned.  That you cannot carry a child of your own.  That you won't welcome a baby into your family.  So, for months I would just think about those thoughts.  I would research surrogacy and I would finally get up enough courage to tell a few family and friends about my wish to be a surrogate.  I was petrified because I knew it was a very unique idea and maybe I would get some push-back.  But, it was so deeply in my heart and I couldn't ignore it. 
So, in February of 2013, I made the decision to walk away from The Surrogacy Center and come to terms that maybe my dream of being a surrogate wouldn't come true, I can't explain it any better than just saying I was heartbroken.  It was a hard thing to do and I never really gave up on the small bit of hope that it could happen, someday.  But, since then, I've changed my families financial situation since I was able to join ItWorks and completely transform our lives, along with help others transform theirs.  In the process, I found a new passion that I never knew existed.  I am so thankful I was given this opportunity and I ran with it, just as I have with anything I ever wanted. 
Today as I sit in my living room and reflect on everything, I happened to filter back thru some of my original blog posts on this site.  It was very interesting to read and even more interesting to look at the dates.  Three years ago to the day my journey was beginning.  Wow.  Hard to believe it has been that long.  So much has happened and it has all played out exactly as it was meant to. 
The couple, Chris and Kellie, that I am going to carry a child for, couldn't be any more amazing.  They couldn't be a more perfect fit for Steven and I.  They couldn't be more giving, loving, caring, genuine, and deserving of this.  Three years wasn't what I had planned when I first started this but I wouldn't want to change any of it.  We are just 2.5 weeks away from the official start of this huge, incredible process and I am just over-the-moon excited!!! 

Today is a day to celebrate love, in any form.  And, I am celebrating in a big way.  Celebrating the beginning of something that has been in the making for 3 years today.  Nothing has meant more to me than all the support I've gotten from all the readers on this blog.  Seriously, thank you all.  Love to you.  Happy Valentine's Day, however you choose to celebrate. 

And then there were THREE!

You guys did again!  All you prayer warriors and positive Patty's just made the impossible, possible for us again!  Today Kellie and Chris received a call from the clinic that they were able to freeze TWO more embryos! 
There was such a slim chance of even 1 of those being able to be frozen that we weren't sure if we should even give it hope.  And then we called out for some positive vibes and miracles happened! Not one.. but TWO more embryos! 
Kellie & Chris are still planning on just implanting the 1 embryo, however, this puts the plan B back in place.  When thawing out the embryos a few days before the transfer, it is possible the an embryo will not make it thru the thaw.  It's also possible that the first transfer will not be successful.  So, having more than 1 embryo for those reasons is so crucial to all of our piece of mind!  I know this just the news Kellie needed to hear!  And of course I am sighing a sigh of relief too!  I would hate for Kellie to have to go thru her egg retrieval again or even worry about all that again.  I still believe the first transfer is going to be successful & that baby is gonna stick & grow into a perfect baby for them to bring home! 
This was just a quick post saying thank you to all of you for your thoughts and prayers because they worked {again}! 
T minus 21 days til transfer day! 

For any IP's or surro's reading... here are some great children's books that Kellie found on Amazon to help explain to your kids!  I just read them all tonight and they are such cute story lines!  Can't wait to share with my kiddos!  :)

Let it be the ONE

It's been a pretty eventful week for us and the IPs (intended parents, Chris & Kellie).

Last Wednesday Kellie had her egg retrieval.  They had really hoped they would get at least 20 eggs but weren't sure if that would be possible since Kellie will only have 1 ovary to work with since her other one has a large cyst on it.  When Kellie was in recovery, Chris posted a photo of her and said they were able to get 21 eggs!  How amazing!

 I know when Kellie woke up to that great news, she was ecstatic!  The next morning the clinic called to let them know that of the 21 eggs that were retrieved, 15 of those eggs were matured and of those 15, 10 were fertilized.  Now, came the 5 day wait while they watch the embryos & see which ones make it thru that time.  The clinic told Kellie and Chris to expect half of the embryos to make it thru the 'blastocyst'.
During that wait, Kellie became very uncomfortable, rapidly gained weight, and had a lot of pain in her abdomen.  The clinic told her that she was most likely experiencing what is called Ovarian Hyper-stimulation.  She was instructed to rest, eat as much salt & protein as possible and drink Gatorade.  It can be very serious so she had to pay close attention to her symptoms and if she didn't get better, she would need to be seen.  Luckily the next day she had some relief and has started feeling much better.  Whew!

Well, today was day 5 of the blastocyst and Kellie received the call and unfortunately it wasn't what she was planning to hear.  Only ONE embryo made it thru and was able to be frozen for the transfer.  Kellie texted me with the news and I knew she was pretty upset.  When I read the message, I was immediately a little shocked by it.  I was just surprised that out of 21 eggs, it can be taken down to just 1 embryo that quickly.  Crazy how the fertility world works.  But, immediately the 'positive Patty' side of myself surfaced and I called Kellie to let her know to keep her chin up.  We only need ONE.  And I know Kellie was over-the-moon that she got 21 eggs last week and she had even made a comment that the extra 1 was going to be 'the one'.  She was just sure that she got an extra egg because it was meant to be her child.  And, that's how I feel about this!  I know this isn't ideal and it certainly isn't what we had thought out to be the plan, but maybe that's just it... maybe this IS the plan.
So, there is still a slim chance that tomorrow could bring good news.  There is 3 embryos that are sitting overnight and have a chance at being able to be frozen tomorrow.  The clinic is going to call Kellie & Chris tomorrow to let them know. 
So, here I am... asking for all of our incredible prayer warriors and positive Patty's out there to send out some prayers and energy for us!  I know that through-out this journey we have already had a few bumps in the road, but so far, each of those things has worked out how it was meant to!  So, I reminded Kellie of that today.  She loves to have a Plan B, & C & D ;) so it's just not her style to let this play out without worrying about the 'what-ifs' , but I am the exact opposite and not a worrier at all.  I am confident this is going to work out how it is supposed to.  I don't think that we have a reason to worry yet.  They have a perfectly perfect embryo waiting to be thawed and implanted in 22 days!
Regardless of to-worry or not to-worry, we would just LOVE the positive thoughts coming our way.  A lot is on the line for everyone and we want this to go smoothly.  Every time I have asked for some prayers, you guys have pulled thru and made miracles happen!  So, let's see what you've got!  :)

Also, I started my Delestrogen injections tonight and I am still on my Lupron injections (half the dose) plus aspirin and prenatal vitamin :)  I am feeling great!  A little tired and moodier than usual... but, no complaints!

Thanks for reading and supporting. Transfer day is just 3 weeks away... March 4!

Becoming SO real!

Happy Monday everyone!  So the weekend was filled with exciting news!  I had updated you all last week on what Kellie was going thru and how she was having some issues with her follicles not growing.  Well, I think you are ALL amazing prayer warriors and just the morning after my post she got great news that everything was looking awesome!  She has had 2 ultrasounds since then and both of them were positive news!  So tonight at exactly 10:15pm she will take a set of 'trigger' shots that will prepare for her egg retrieval!  Her egg retrieval is going to be Wednesday at 9:15am (exactly 35 hours after the shot, remember?)  She is STOKED and so am I!  I think it is all starting to officially sink in with us that this is REALLY happening!!!!  We've now been in this process for almost 5 months and we are to the very final countdown!  Well... not the final countdown... haha.  But this it the end of the beginning!  :)
Today my countdown to the transfer is just 29 days away... how crazy is that?  It's going to be here before we know it. 
I am still feeling well on all my meds.  I will have a blood draw on Wednesday to test my hormone levels before I start the Estradiol injections in a few days.  I am still doing the Lupron injections and they are still very easy, painless, and so far none of the crazy side effects that I've been warned on :) I was instructed to stop my birth control pill last week and then I have just a few days left of the Doxycycline med that both Steven and I were taking.  Also still 81mg of Aspirin a day & of course my prenatal vitamin.  The meds will start to get more complicated in the coming weeks!

Keep those positive thoughts coming!  I will be sure to update after Kellie's appointment on Wednesday but I just KNOW she is going to have a wonderful outcome. 

Thanks for being awesome!  We love all the support!