Easy Peasy!

Day two of the injections and everything has gone smoothly!  The Lupron injections have been very easy for me to do.  I was concerned about if I could give myself a shot but it really isn't bad at all!
Lupron has quite a list of side effects... so I have prepared myself (& friends/family) that I might become a loony in the next few weeks!  However, so far, I have felt great!  I actually feel like the Lupron makes me feel happy!  haha.  A shot of happy?  :) Is that possible? :) I doubt it.  I am sure the crazy side effects will kick in soon, but we shall see.

I have been chatting with a gal who is in the same place in this process as me; she actually has her transfer just a day after mine.  She has been on the Lupron a week longer than me and she said she hasn't noticed any side effects.  I hope that continues for me too!

I got the progesterone stuff in my package of meds too... and yikes, those needles definitely look a bit scarier!  We will see if I will be able to keep those up for 10 weeks.  I might need to switch to the suppositories.  I won't need to start the progesterone until a few days before the embryo transfer, so I have a few weeks left of just the easy Lupron! :)

Alright, that's all I have for tonight!

And it all begins!

Last week we finalized the parentage agreement (contract) with our attorneys!  We ended up signing on the dotted line on Thursday.  It felt so good to have that part completed :)
I have been in contact with the fertility clinic and we are all set to start meds tomorrow! Then, the embryo transfer is scheduled for November 12!!  EEK!  I can't believe it's all.really.starting.
Tomorrow morning a mail order pharmacy will deliver ALL my meds for these next several weeks.  I will be getting Lupron, Vivelle, and Progesterone.  The viville will be a patch I will wear on my abdomen and the other two are injections.  Tomorrow evening I will start with my first injection of Lupron.  I will give myself one injection everyday for the next 3-4 weeks.  I will stop my birth control pills on Saturday and then on Monday I have a followup ultrasound in Illinois.
I can't believe we finally have a date set!  Just 26 days away!

I am planning to blog a lot more from this point forward.  I will be blogging all the details of the surrogacy.  I created this blog so my friends and family can follow along thru the journey, but also to keep this as a journal for any current or future surrogates out there.  Surrogacy is a pretty complicated process.  I found comfort being able to read about others experiences!
One thing to mention is, with an embryo transfer, there is no guarantees that I will become pregnant.  So, I would love if you would take a minute to pray or send some positive thoughts about it.  I know that both Frank and I would be devastated if this transfer failed... so please keep us in your thoughts this next month!
Thanks for reading!

What about adoption?

First off- a quick update.  Both Frank & Steven/I have been appointed attorneys to get started on the contracts.  We are hoping to have the contracts signed by Oct 19 & that will put us on track for an early/mid November transfer.

Secondly, I wanted to blog about a topic that I feel like comes up in the back of peoples mind; and not everyone has the 'guts' to ask.
"Why not adoption?  There are so many babies out there to be adopted.  Why do you feel you have to turn to surrogacy instead of adopting a baby in need of a family?"
First off, my husband is adopted.  Adoption is a wonderful thing.  Steven and I talked about adoption before we had kids.  We made an agreement that we would adopt if we couldn't have our own biological children.  I really think adoption is beautiful & I LOVE hearing successful adoption stories.  However, there is a very real reality to adoption.  Adoptions fail.  Not everyone can adopt.  Adopting is a very tough process.  Adoption is very expensive & not guaranteed.  When adoptions go through, they are beautiful & so rewarding.  But, adoption just doesn't feel right to everyone.   For Frank, adoption would be extremely difficult since he is a single man; only 3 countries in the world even consider letting a single man adopt.   And, not all families have come to terms with the fact they can't have their own biological children.  So, I feel that I can help someone else have a biological child if thats what feels right to them.  I got pregnant easily.  I never had to really, honestly, sit & have that talk about "what do we do now?"  We never had a doctor tell us there was a problem with our fertility issues.  I don't know what we would do if we were put in that situation.  But, if adoption wasn't the route we wanted to go, I sure as heck hope I would have somewhere else to turn.  Surrogacy.

I've been following several surrogacy blogs lately & I recently found one  that the blogger is a surrogate for her brother & sister-in-law because during the birth of their first child, the mother was very ill & had to have her uterus removed.  She still has perfect eggs but no where to carry a child.  So, for them, their journey to having their own biological children just wasn't complete yet.  They are expecting twins around Christmas.  If you are interested, you can view their blog, here.

I have had friends & clients who have adopted and I LOVE when everything falls into place & then suddenly, a new family member is welcomed into their loving family.  But, I have also heard the sad stories of adoptions that fall thru.  Surrogacy takes out a bit of that factor.  Again, the egg is NOT mine in this surrogacy.  I am strictly the carrier that will get this embryo to a full-term baby.  I can't change my mind, because I simply can't.  It's not my baby.  Frank doesn't have to go to bed at night worrying about if I may decide to keep this baby.  Yes, there are several other factors that probably will worry Frank crazy- but, me keeping his baby, isn't one of them.  This baby is his, all his, and so once I am confirmed pregnant, he gets to begin planning his life with his baby.  That is what surrogacy is about to me.

I really don't feel like it can be a conversation on adoption vs surrogacy because I think its comparing apples to oranges.  I don't think they can be compared.  They are so different and people choose what feels right to them.  We are so lucky that this is OUR life and we get to choose what is right to US.  If we were all the same, what a boring world we would live in.  But, I really appreciate when people can open themselves up to new opinions.  So, for those of you that are on the edge about surrogacy.  Just think about if a doctor told you that you 'couldn't get pregnant', or if you woke up from a C-Section and your uterus was gone, or you were a 45 year old who couldn't adopt because of the age requirements, or a man who wants to be a dad but can't because he is single?  Think of those factors and consider that not everyone has the easy, cut & dry story that we would like to think lead people to adopt.  Adoption is beautiful and so is surrogacy.  Neither is better than another.

Those are my words for the night.  Thanks for reading ;)

Step 2=Complete

On Thursday morning I hopped into the car and drove 3 hours to  IL to the Fertility Center.  This is the chosen fertility clinic by Frank and where the embryo transfer will occur.  Unfortunately, Steven couldn't come with me, due to a busy work schedule, so I had a long day of driving and tests alone.
Once I got to the center, I was able to sit down with the doctor and talk about what is to come.  I was surprised to meet with him for close to an hour since it's unusual these days to get such one-on-one time with a doctor.  But, it was great because he was so thorough in explaining the entire process and what I can expect in the coming months.  He also explained that he had read my medical history and wanted to talk about my pregnancy with my twins.  He had me explain, in my own words, how the pregnancy went and why I delivered when I did (very pre-term).  He agreed with everything I said, and explained that the chance of the same thing happening again to me (TTTS), is no higher of a chance for me than anyone else.  He also explained that I delivered two babies at almost 28 weeks.  So, with their combined weight and size, my uterus grew to the size of what one fullterm baby would be.  With that said, I should have no problems carrying a baby to fullterm.  I never had issues with pre-term labor or anything like that.  After that chat, I headed into the exam room for my tests.  The tests consisted of bloodwork, routine physical exam & a few other not-so-fun tests.
One of the main procedures the doctor did was called a 'mock embryo transfer'.  The doctor inserted a catheter into my uterus and first cleaned it with some saline and then proceeded to measure the length and depth.  The reason they do this procedure is so on the transfer date, they know exact where to go with the embryo and where to place it.
The next procedure was the doctor injected dye into my uterus and fallopian tubes & inflated a balloon inside my uterus.  They took lots of ultrasound images to get a clear photo of my uterus.  This test is done to be sure the lining in my uterus looks good and basically to 'ok' me to become pregnant.
The tests took about 15 minutes total, although, it seemed a bit longer.  It wasn't excruciating pain by any means, but it was definitely uncomfortable.
The doctor told me that everything looked great and he saw no reason for me to not be able to proceed with this surrogacy!  I was very happy to hear that.  :)
After the tests, I went back into the consultation room and met with the IVF nurse.  She went over all the medications with me and how to administer them.  It was definitely a lot of information!
THE MEDS:
-First things first- I started birth control pills.  The reason I needed to start these is so that they know when the transfer could happen.  The pill regulates the cycle & will make the 'guessing' less 'guessing' and more precise.  So, I started those 2 weeks ago after I had my IUD removed.
-Next the nurse gave me some prenatal vitamins to start taking.  The biggest concern is to take them the opposite time of day as my birth control pill, because they can counteract each other.
-The first medication I will be taking is called Lupron.  This is an injection I will give to myself daily (in my thigh or abdomen) & it basically makes me stop ovulating.  It will make my body feel like it is going into menopause.  The reason for this medication (to my understanding) is that this way I have no chance of getting pregnant with my own child, since my body won't release any eggs during this time.  I will be doing this injection for the weeks leading up to the transfer.  I think there are other medical reasons why I will be on Lupron..  but I am still learning all of these reasons.  (and after reading about this medication on none other than the internet (here), I am confident I am going to feel like a loony!  So, bear with me! :)
-The next medication will be an estrogen patch.  Just a small patch, placed on my abdomen, that will administer doses of estrogen to me.  This will support the development of the embryo and stabilize the uterine lining.  I am unsure the amount of time I will wear this patch, but it's my understanding that I begin using it around the transfer date and will continue to wear it for several weeks following the transfer.
-The last medication I will be taking is progesterone and that will be for the weeks prior to the transfer and 8-10 weeks following the transfer.  Progesterone is a hormone produced naturally by the ovaries to help thicken the lining.  This makes it easier for the embryo to implant and too little progesterone can result in miscarriage.  This is the medication I am dreading the most.  There are 2 forms of it.  One method is an injection that is to be given intramuscularly in the rear; normally I don't mind injections, but this will be an oil that needs to be injected.  The person giving it needs to keep in mind that it is an oil because it isn't too easy to administer.  Sounds ouchy to me.  The other method for progesterone is a suppository that will be needed to be done 2-3 times a day.  I am assuming I will be going with the latter choice, but we'll have to see.

While explaining the above medications everyone has asked "why?"  Most have followed that question with "I got pregnant and carried a baby to full term without these crazy medications... why do you have to do all of this?"
Well, first off... I am still learning.  I don't have all of the answers YET and yes, some of it still confuses me.  But, what I do know, is that this is a non-traditional way to get pregnant.  The doctors will be taking a frozen embryo and 'thawing' it for a few days before they transfer into my body to grow to a fullterm baby.  Things have to be done differently because they are being started differently.  I am sure my body will be confused and these meds will help it adjust.

So, the next step is to work on what is called the parentage agreement (contract between us and intended dad, Frank).  I will be appointed a lawyer and Frank will work with his lawyer and we will put all of the necessary information into a written agreement and both parties will sign on the dotted line.  I am sure this will take several weeks to get finalized but in the meantime we should be getting a transfer date!  The clinic does transfers every other month and so their next month is November.  We are hoping for an early November transfer!

All for now!  Any questions? :)

Whats next?

Well our trip with Frank ended great.  We had a day to just relax and show him around our area.  We took him to my studio & he loved eating at our restaurant!  We spent the afternoon at a coffeeshop just sipping some yummy espresso & chatting some more.
Steven and I both agree we feel like we have known him for years.  Crazy that our time was just a few hours, in total... seems like our friendship dates back years ago.
So, we said our goodbyes & wished him well.  It was crazy to think that the next time we see him... I will be pregnant (fingers crossed)!

I have run into a few friends lately and the question comes up "So, whats next in the process?"  Well, next step is medical clearance for me.  I will go to the fertility clinic in Illinois and have an ultrasound along with a whole slew of tests to be sure I am ok to get pregnant.  The appt should be very soon... most likely within this month!
After that looks good we will schedule the transfer date!  If everything sticks to the schedule & 'plan' then we are talking about a late October transfer!
Between the medical clearance and the transfer, the contracts need to be written and signed.  Basically I will be appointed a lawyer & so will Frank.... we will type up all of the details of what is to come in the next year.  It's pretty standard, although, I know its good (for both parties) to put everything in writing.

It's crazy to think how quickly this is all going to happen now!  I feel like I've waited so long to get going in this process and now, it will be all over before I blink!

We've heard from Frank a few times since he has flown back home; and he always sends us the sweetest, most encouraging words.  It's so comforting to feel such a connection with him.  My last message to him I said "I can't wait for you to become a daddy, very soon!"  And, it's true.  I can't.  He will make one heck of a dad, I already know that.

For those of you reading- I would love it if you would think of him & this process whenever you have a minute to pray or send some positive energy out to the universe.  As I have mentioned before, Frank isn't new to the surrogacy world.  He has been in this process for quite sometime and experienced some very awful heartbreaks (with failed transfers & losing his twins).  So, this transfer in October is so important that it works.  Frank has embryo's frozen and those will be the ones they will implant (most likely just one, unless the doctor recommends doing 2) & if they don't work, Frank will have some re-evaluating to do.  It could mean he would need to start over with a new egg donor, or change something else in the process.  This is the last thing he or we want.  But, I told Frank when he was here..."I have a good feeling about everything"  I really do.  I think the timing is right.  So far everything seems so right.  :)

So, if you have a minute... send us some positive energy that an embryo takes and we can make Frank a daddy very soon!  The transfer won't happen for another 7+ weeks, but I know the power of prayer can work wonders! :)

Thanks for reading!
-Kenzi

Hangin' out on cloud 9...

As I sit here, I am looking at the computer screen with welled up eyes.  So much so, it's hard for me to see the computer screen.  It's difficult to even try to explain the day that Steven and I had yesterday, meeting the intended father for the child I will carry as a surrogate.
When I started thinking about surrogacy, I often would daydream about the parents I would carry for.  All types of people would cross my mind & so many thoughts would consume my imagination.  But, never did I think we could find someone so absolutely perfect for us, as we did yesterday.

We arrived to the agency in Wisconsin around 1pm and as soon as we walked in, the receptionist let us know that the dad and the 2 coordinators had went to lunch and would be back shortly.  Oh man, the nerves set in!  I sat there anxiously awaiting the car to pull up.  So much so, the receptionist said "You are nervous, aren't you???"  I said "YES!  Very!!" It's a moment I had dreamed up to be so right that I was afraid it could go wrong.
The ladies walked in first and of course we exchanged big hugs since it had been 6 months since we have seen them.  And, then I walked over and introduced myself & Steven and gave a big hugs to the intended dad.  <--- who from now on we will just call "Frank"  to make it simpler.
Over the next 2 hours the 5 of us just talked and talked about what is to come.  Frank explained to us why is he reaching out to surrogacy & how all he wants in this lifetime is to become a father.  At points in the conversation I just looked to Steven and was like "Wow, could he be more perfect for us?"  We both agreed that he reminds us of two of my best guy friends mixed into one person.  Which of course, describes what a great match he is for us.
We got all of the necessary questions answered and we decided to head back to Iowa and Frank would follow us.
After he checked into his hotel, we brought him to see our house, meet my parents and meet our boys.  We had a great chat with him and my parents (with all the 3 year old crazy boy chaos going on in the background).  It was at this point in the conversation that Frank mentioned he is very active with charity work.  I basically wanted to do a double take... "I'm sorry... you're what?!"  For anyone who knows me, knows I am a huge advocate for the March of Dimes, as well as several other non-profit organizations and charities.  I looked over to Steven and I said "I just can't believe it.  He is such a great fit"
After about an hour of meeting with my family, the 3 of us decided to head to one of the restaurants in town here so we could really get to know each other.  IT.WENT.FABULOUS.
We didn't stop talking for the entire 2 hours we were there.  We talked about our pasts, our siblings, our parents, traveling, children, relationships and of course, this baby who will make their appearance next year.  We talked about how communication will work over the course of the year and how often we can chat.  I let him know that I am very willing to chat everyday by email or phone.  I can't imagine how hard it will be for him to be 1,000's of miles away from his growing baby & not know what is going on.  He said to me "please tell me how you are feeling.  If you feel great, tell me.  If you are going to throw up, tell me.  I want to know the good and the bad, too."

I remember sitting at the dinner table, across from Frank and just soaking it all in.  I held back tears and thought to myself "This is why I am doing this."  Adoption isn't an option for a single man and this is his only option to have a child.  We can help him do that.  We can help his dream come true.

 Everything felt so natural with the 3 of us and I know that is what is most important in this journey.

Well, I think that is all for now.  We are going to pick up Frank from his hotel and take him to see our restaurant and my studio!  Thanks again for your support!

Meet the Parent! :)

So we finally have a date set to meet the intended dad that I will be a gestational surrogate for!  The BIG DAY is set for Aug 29 and we will meet at the agency in Wisconsin!
If all goes well, the dad plans to come back to CR to meet my family/friends and to see the community and my workplace.  Steven and I are both so excited that this process has started moving along and we can't wait to finally meet the ID.
We also know that the ID is completely supportive of me blogging this journey.  He knows that this will be a good outlet for me, all the while, promoting positive and ethical surrogacy ideas.  That made me extremely happy.  As of right now, his identity will stay private and I don't plan on posting photos or his name, unless he gives me the Ok to do so.  But, I will be sure to share anything and everything you may or may not want to know! ha!  :)

Also, the agency gals have said that this will most likely move pretty quickly after our first meeting with a tentative TRANSFER in October!  Yikes, I might be pregnant in just a few short months!  :)

So, the countdown begins... we are meeting in less than 18 days!  WOOOHOOOO!  I can't wait to post after we meet.